Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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