No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize