well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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