i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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