remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
