im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
In America we eat man semen.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
