plz talk dirty to me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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