Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
