I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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