I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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