Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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