My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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