If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
