I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
