You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
