break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
