just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
