This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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