It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
