I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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