But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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