aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
