I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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