I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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