I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
