Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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