i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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