does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
