I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize