what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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