Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
