I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
