Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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