I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
