I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
