I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
