If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize