he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
