Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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