I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
