I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he thought i was a dude.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
