I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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