glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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