Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It was confusing and full of hummus
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
