i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
