His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
