i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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