Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
