Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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