Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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