shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize