i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
