yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize