oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
