just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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