69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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