I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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