Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
