I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
