just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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