if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
