Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
