he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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