i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
