I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
