Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
