i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
