So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
