the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
