Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
