Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
