She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
