no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
